Monday, March 26, 2007

Monologue

Maybe you will think that I am insane but I am not.
You can say whatever you want to say about me but I do not care.
You can think whatever you want to think about me but it will not matter.
I am no copycat.
I am my 'own' man.
I do not have to convince you that I am the be(a)st.
For I know that I am.
I do not believe in anything.
I am what I am.
I am the master of my fate and destiny.
How many times do I have to dare you people--
Come and get me?
Hehehehehehehehe...
Now, If I happen to cross your path one day.
Well, don't blame me if you get lucky.
For sure you will end up just like the rest- Dead.
I am as ordinary as you people are.
I am young and happy and having the time of my life.
I do what I do best and very good at it.
There is nothing wrong with me.
I neither smell burning rubbers nor hear voices.
The DSM- IV R Classification in Psychiatry does not fit me.
I am as healthy as can anyone be.
My shrink will better bet her life on
Because she is next on my list...
Now let him who has understanding reckon the number of the beast...

--For it is a human number...
It's number is ....

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Text Mate

“hu u?” was the reply I got when I first texted Jenny randomly one desperately wet day in December almost two years ago today.

I happened to jumble around the numbers of my cell phone, came up with a working combination of numbers that I liked that turned out into the lucky number, her cp number.

It was my lucky day!

I told her about the circumstances about 'accidentally' finding her number and she accepted my apologies and long story short, we became text mates.

I started sending her messages via Short Messaging System (SMS) from my old and trusty Nokia 3210 cell phone everyday.I was usually the first one to greet her every morning and the last one to bid her goodnight. Soon, she began to reciprocate my 'feelings' through the magic that is SMS and we hit it off from then on.

She was a Communication Arts freshman in UP- Diliman while I told her that I have a bachelor’s degree in Interdisciplinary Studies from Ateneo de Manila University and taking up Law at San Beda College in Mendiola.

I could tell from her messages to me that she was a bright girl with a promising and bright future in her field. She confided in me everything- her dreams, her feelings, her anger, her fears, her views, everything. She bared her soul to me even if I am only a stranger without a face.

And I was always there for her, an eager ear albeit through SMS to listen to her endless messages about anything and everything. I became her emotional punching bag so to speak.

Our exchange of views and ideas on any topic lasted for a time until one day when she asked me if it’s ok for us to finally meet and see each other in the flesh.

For two years, I have evaded the topic but it was her sincerity and persuasiveness that triumphed in the end that I finally relented with reservations knowing fully well the consequences that may arise from the situation.

We agreed to meet at the UP Sunken Garden between 5:30 in the afternoon up to 6 o’clock in the evening.

“I wil b wering a red top 2morow. Hoping 2 finali mit u at lst. Gudnyt”, was her last text messages to me.

I arrived at my apartment at 10 in the evening and took a hot shower.

Afterwards, I went to the bar, took out a glass and grabbed some ice from the bucket. I poured myself bourbon from the bottle. I took a swig while looking outside the window contemplating in silence while Jim Beam’s spirit burned my chest.

I reached for the remote control and switched on the Television to ABS-CBN’s Headlines…

In one of the news report reads, “UP Coed found dead near Kalayaan.”

I got my CP from the drawer and replaced my old sim card with a new one as I lie down in the couch while trying to meditate that was suddenly interrupted when my CP beeped; I got up and pushed down the message pad while at the same time a sheepish grin flashed across my face.

“hu u?”.