The Lady And Me

I woke up early in the morning with a throbbing pain in my head. I have no recollection whatsoever of the things that happened the previous night.

So, imagine my surprise when I found a body in my bathroom lying in a pool of her own blood!

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath trying to shake off the cobwebs in my head. I tried to remember the things that occurred the night before…

Then I remember driving into an upscale club along Jupiter Street in Makati to unwind after a hard day in the office where I went straight to the bar and ordered two shots of Johnnie Walker Single Malt Whisky. This was quickly followed by a glass of Carlos I Brandy that left a burning sensation in my throat.

My head began to swirl as I grabbed a bottle of Corona and watched the people on the dance floor dancing to the rhythm of the techno music.

Then, in the corner of my eye I caught her gyrating on the ledge in wild abandon with eyes closed as if in a trance and laughing at the top of her lungs.

“Probably high on E!” I muttered to myself as I continued to watch her dance. She’s wearing a red backless top that left just a bit to imagination the two large tits that were beneath it and in tight blue denim accented with red pumps that gave one a funny impression of her being a trying hard --- Vamp!

I continued my binge and tried the cocktail called Screaming Orgasm and Sex on the Forest respectively that was quickly chased by a shot of Stolichnaya Vodka. After I while, I asked for another round of the sweet Vodka and smelled a familiar scent in the air that brought back memories of Diana, my first sweetheart and victim…

It was her favorite Escada perfume and for a moment I was lost in deep thought and when I did finally come out of it , I felt that old familiar feeling that someone is staring at you behind your back. So, I turned around and lo and behold, found the Vamp looking straight into my eyes and smiling at me with her perfect white teeth and was now sitting right next to me in the bar and drinking a Zombie.

I told the bartender that the lady’s drink is on me. She smiled again and thanked me and started a conversation that range from small talk to the absurd to trivial matters but we did not really care for we enjoyed each other’s company.

She asked me to join her in the dance floor an offer that I find quite hard to refuse. And so we danced. And we danced all right until we kissed and kissed and kissed unmindful of the rowdy crowd on the dance floor. I smelled her sweet breath even under the obvious influence of alcohol and felt her tongue in my mouth and I felt something. Her tongue is pushing something into my mouth!

And she succeeded and then whispered in my ear that I should join her in her trip. I swallowed the damn pill and that was the last thing I remembered…

My recollections were abruptly cut short by the doorbell ringing. I took a towel and wrapped it around my torso and answered the door. It was just the Mailman delivering my Time Magazine subscriptions. I went back inside and stared at the body lying prostrate in rigor mortis in front of me and pondered on what to do with her next.

In a sudden rush of adrenaline, I picked her up and brought her to the kitchen. I dropped her on the Mahogany table where I expertly chopped her with the Butcher’s knife into several small pieces taking good care of her head, tits, fingers, and toes as I carefully and meticulously sorted them from the rest of her body.

I put them inside a black plastic bag and put the rest of her into a denim duffel bag, brought them out and laid them on the passenger seat of my Ford Ranger in the garage.

I washed up and cleaned up the mess, sprayed Clorox and Lysol and mopped the floor until not a trace of her was left. Satisfied, I took a long hot shower and cleaned myself. Afterwards, I set the alarm clock and jumped right back into the bed and zzzz’s my way into dreamland…

The buzzing of the clock jolted me back into my senses. It was already past 12 in the morning. I dressed up and went out driving into the nearest Mercury Drug Store outlet and bought a pair of size 7 surgical gloves and a can of Lemon air freshener.

While the rest of Metro Manila was sound asleep, I was out there driving around the narrow side streets of Makati and Manila; from Bangkal to Palanan to San Andres and Malate in Manila, tossing the chopped meat out of the window into the waiting mouths of hungry stray dogs that populated the area as I passed by.

After the duffle bag was empty of its contents, I turned toward Forbes Street until I reach Pritil in Tondo and followed the narrow asphalted road until I went out northwards towards Navotas.

When I passed by the old Smokey Mountain dumping site, I slowed down and tossed the empty duffel bag together with the black plastic bag out of the window and into the mound of thrash on the roadside.I drove for several minutes until I came out on Rizal Avenue and quietly headed for my flat in downtown Manila.

Two and a half hours of roaming around and driving into the dead of night and erasing the last traces of her was peanuts!

The next morning the tabloids screamed with the news that human body parts of what investigators believed to have once belonged to a woman in her early 20's were found near Smokey Mountains by scavengers. My office mates had an animated discussion that day about the “Chop-chop Lady” and they were expounding their various theories on the reason behind the killing.

When I told them about my version they brushed it off and shrugged their shoulders and just laughed at the glaring absurdity of my claims.

Then a curious office mate sidled up to me and in a soft voice asked me, “What are you smiling at?”

I answered him with a crazy grin on my face, “you know, I was out there with that poor girl last night and yes, I did the damn thing!”